The Other Side of Parenthood–Part 4

There comes a moment when you are finally happy to see yourself in the mirror. Finding joy in parenthood again doesn’t come like a countdown but more like a wave: slowly and gradually. The process is so sluggish that you cannot pinpoint which exact wave it was, but you can feel in your bones that finally the water is higher than you remember it to be. It is when you start laughing at your partner’s jokes from the heart and stop bracing yourself every morning.

This is the conclusive part of our series. It all started with the struggle that nobody posts online, moving toward the roommate phase and pondering over the identity crisis. In this one, we talk about what comes after: The Return.

Finding Joy in Parenthood Again–The Gradual Tide

The moment when you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the reflection, remember your previous version is still there. She has just disappeared like a shoreline disappearing during low tide. You will start loving new songs again, start laughing at jokes again, and have time to dive into your favorite book. Like any tide, this change will not ask permission or announce itself.

I Miss Me — Until, Quietly, I Didn’t

I did not notice or remember when I started feeling like myself again. There was a time when writing an article was not possible without multiple interruptions. I used to ask myself, why am I doing this? Just a single fear of completely losing myself in parenthood kept me going on. And today I can write it all in a single sitting. It might not be an enormous accomplishment for many, but for me, I have made an incredible one. It is my journey of finding joy in parenthood again.

This is what I want to tell you all: that the return comes from within. It is not a breakthrough; it is just a single ordinary moment when you feel joy in doing mundane things.

The Signs to Note of “The Return”

The signs are much smaller than one would imagine

• Planning without flinching: It happens when you start planning an outing with excitement and not like another chore.
• Laughing like you mean it: there was a time when you cannot even laugh without worrying about waking your child or feeling selfish. If you have stopped doing it, then congratulations, your tide has either come or is near.
• Co-manager to partner again: The roommate phase erodes with conversations and combined efforts. It goes away gradually, just like it came before.
• You can finally enjoy the silence without worrying about the to-do list.

Nothing requires you to be your previous self. What’s important is to reconstruct your better, healthier, and happier self. You are allowed to be a whole person and not just limit or fit into one role only.

Closing This Part of the Conversation

It’s a full circle; we started by talking about parenthood struggles that don’t make it to Instagram, and four articles later, just realized how no one talks about finding joy in parenthood again as well. The return is not a milestone that you achieve and announce. Although it is a journey worth celebrating.

Are you still waiting for the tide to come in? It does not come all at once. Watch your shoreline instead; you will notice it’s higher already.