Being a mom is a full-time job. There are no off days or break times. You become a mother, and suddenly, your daily work tasks become triple. It’s in a mother’s instinct to choose the best for their child, and for that, we make all the tough choices for ourselves. From making them wear clean clothes to having a safe playing environment, everything starts feeling like our responsibility. A task that no one assigned us and the one we do not believe anyone can do as efficiently.
A mom’s cup is always filled to the brim, bound to spill, and when it does, comes the mom guilt. It is a feeling that every mother faces from time to time. It can eat you up from the inside and make you feel weak. Therefore, it is immensely important to understand what mom’s guilt is and how to manage it.
What Is Mom Guilt?
In simple words, it is a feeling that makes you question your parenting choices and ability. It makes you feel that you are not good enough for your child. It makes you compare yourselves with others. Mom’s guilt can become so strong that a mother may feel wrong while fulfilling her basic needs, like taking a shower or going to the salon.
This haunting feeling can attack you at any time, but some of the most common triggers are when you leave your child for work, juggling with house tasks, when your child is hurt or when you encounter an unwanted parenting opinion. Questioning your choices and overlooking your behavior is okay. This habit helps you to become the best version of yourself. However, it is not good if you start losing your focus and stop enjoying the time with your little one over some unwashed dishes. Such mother needs to learn how to manage and tackle their mom’s guilt to have a happy life.
Tips to Manage Mom Guilt
We have talked to a number of moms and concluded some major reasons for mom guilt. On that basis, the following are tips to manage and avoid mom guilt from affecting your daily life.
1. Stop the Comparison
The root cause of mom’s guilt is comparison. It can start from a basic thing like watching others playing or doing activities with their kid while yours is engaged with the screen. You need to understand the different dynamics of every family. The nature of their job may allow them to have such leisure time, or it’s the day they have been planning for months. You are not in a race or a competition.
2. Different Parenting Opinions
We all will agree that parents only choose the best for their children. Still, you will often hear unwanted opinions on your parenting choices. This may make you question yourself and take you on a mom guilt trip. You need to remember that you choose what works best for your family. Make sure to discuss your choices with your partner to feel more confident about them. Do not let others’ opinions harm your mental health.
3. Choose a Time for Yourself
It is natural to feel disconnected from your previous life after becoming a mother. It is important to know that you will find your pace and things you love once again. Until that happens, make sure to have company, someone you can talk to and share your burden. Every once in a while, take some time out for yourself. Go on a walk or go to your favorite spot; basically, do whatever makes you happy and refreshed.
4. Positive Side of Mom Guilt
Mothers are naturally more close to their children, and their intuition helps in keeping the child safe. However, this continuous concern and overthinking gives rise to Mom’s guilt as well. You need to learn how to only focus on the positive side of mom guilt and never criticize yourself for the tiny mistakes. Keep chanting the mantra, “It was a mom fail, but you are not a failure as a mother.”
5. Connect With Empathetic Moms
Silence fuels the shame. So, break your silence and talk about it to your fellow mothers. You will be surprised how a mother who seems to have it all also faces failures and mom guilt. The conversation will make you realize that you are not in it alone. You will realize that, after all, it was not such a big deal as you tell and laugh at each other’s stories.
Summing-up
Mom guilt is inevitable, and the sooner you learn to deal with it, the better it is for yourself and your family’s mental health. Put your focus only on you’re the best of your family and not on others’ opinions. Listen to your gut and do what you feel is the best for your child. Take some time out for yourself and communicate with your partner. Connect to other mothers through chatting platforms to make sense of different situations with your child. Above all, always remember that you are doing your best, and from your child’s perspective, no one can replace you ever.
