Parenthood Struggles That Doesn’t Make It to Instagram
The picture of parenthood is painted with colorful terms like joy, unconditional love, sacrificing nature, and more. But all these terms only cover half of the real parenting. In reality, the joy comes with loneliness, the unconditional love becomes overwhelming, and sacrifices come at an emotional cost. Glorifying parenthood struggles does not make it easy or prepare the new parents for it.
Discussing the struggles of parenthood and sharing your story can both motivate and help prepare new parents for their journey. Below are some real emotional challenges and costs associated with parenthood.
A Shift to “Just Parents” Phase
Parenting forces you to redefine your bond with your partner while forming a new one with the child. Almost everything you knew or did before the child has to change after you become a parent. For example, where once you were a team that did everything together will be a team that divides and conquers. Instead of a late-night movie marathon, one will take care of the baby, and the other will rest. One will eat at a fancy restaurant, and the other will coax the baby.
These changes will be subtle but will feel heavy with time. Where once resided loud laughter and intimacy, will now be a home of shush voices and tired faces. This phase is commonly known as “Roommate Phase.”
Parenting Calls for Sacrifices
No one prepares you for the uncharted sacrifices that parenting calls for. You will have to put your dreams and plans on hold for some time. Parenthood struggles change you to the level that you start questioning your identity. People often paint great parenting as something completely selfless, but the question is, how can one pour from an empty cup? And for how long is it possible before you damage yourself?
No one prepares you for these changes and sacrifices. Mostly, the happy picture painted around parenting stops you from discussing the reality. Most people fear that they may sound ungrateful by acknowledging the parenthood struggles. Remember, asking for help does not cancel out your love for your child.
Does This Guilt Ever Quit?
Let’s talk about the mental load of parenting and parenting burnout. Your child’s needs can often clash with yours. This can make you snap or miss your old life, and soon after that comes the guilt. Now you will be harsh on yourself for this the whole day. Only if someone out there could talk about parenthood struggles and tell you that this is quite common.
Remember, you cannot fill from an empty cup; therefore, fill yours before taking care of your child. Ask for help whenever you feel your burnout is close. And reminiscing about your old life does not make you a bad parent, but just a normal human being.
You Are Not Alone
Even if it feels lonely, it is not the reality. It is just because parenthood struggles are not discussed as much as they should be. Our experiences should provide a guideline for the next generation of mothers and show the realities of parenthood as a whole.
We carefully chose the first topic of our series. Acknowledging the silent sacrifices and struggles is compulsory to make sense of everything else. Parenthood struggles are real, and feeling them makes you human, not weak.
Let’s Keep Talking
In Part 2 of the series, we will target the most common and rarely discussed topic: how relationships change after children. We will dive into the messy middle life, from emotional withdrawal to rekindling affection, and uncover the reality that no one posts on Instagram.
