Becoming parents is the most life-changing experience. Suddenly, the whole focal point of parents shifts towards their baby. At first, you just cancel a single date night for a baby emergency, and the next thing you know is that your relationship takes the back seat. In the race to keep up with all new responsibilities and duties, you forget to check on each other. All these changes make it overwhelming for both parents and soon they find each other in a Roommate Phase of their relationship.

Roommate phase is basically a time when partners feel disconnected from each other. There can be multiple reasons for the phase, but the most common is the new parenting era. A child not only brings joy and happiness but also chaos and responsibilities. The lack of time, frustration and new changes make it difficult for partners to rebound that connection.

How do you get out of the roommate phase?

No matter how unbreakable or unavoidable it seems, there is nothing to worry my fellow readers. With little effort and care, you can reignite that fire, love and attraction in your relationship. Let’s discuss effective ways to avoid or break free from the roommate phase.

1.      Communication Is the Key

The most common reason for disconnection is lack of communication. It gives rise to a lack of understanding, which ultimately results in loss of interest, anger and frustration. It is important to understand the struggles of your partner. Remember that the upbringing of a new child is as difficult and foreign for your partner as for you.

Have a deep conversation about each other feelings and hardships. Furthermore, this will soften your heart for each other and assist you in reconnecting. You will also know why and where your partner is struggling and how you can reduce it.

2.      Time Passes, but Feelings Remain

Remember that it is just a phase and will eventually pass. But you and your partner will always remember how you made each other feel during such difficult times. Remind yourself of your previous hardship that your love conquered. Revisit your old memories to find the things you loved about your partner. Firstly, it will help in softening your heart and then urge you to take the initiative that your relation requires at the moment.

3.      Take That First Step

Waiting for your partner to be initiative is the major reason for the roommate phase. Balance and equity is the second name of marriage. Always demanding your partner to initiate can strain relations and cause ego problems.

Now the question is how? We understand that you may find it difficult to plan outings like before. So explore some new ways to rekindle your love and spend time together. There are a lot of things that you might enjoy at home, like cooking together. This will help you understand and love your partner more deeply. Be confident in yourself; you know your partner the best.

4.      Spontaneity and Roommate Phase

The major reason for the roommate phase after a baby is the lack of time. Most partners feel that the other one does not have time for them. They are not able to plan things out like before. Even if they somehow manage to do it, some unpredictable child duty may disrupt it. Soon, they both feel discouraged and stop planning things out.

The simple solution is to be spontaneous. Accept the changes in your lifestyle and avoid planning every detail. Go with the flow of your life. Whenever your child gives you some time, feel free to indulge in fun activities. It can be anything from watching your favorite movie to being intimate.

5.      Getting Stronger With Acceptance

 Every person’s life is divided into several phases. Every phase has its beauty that comes with responsibilities. Parenthood is no different; it brings you joy and love you never imagined. But with all its beauty, it also brings some challenges.

The only thing to remember is that, like every other challenge of life, it will only make you stronger. Enjoy it as much as possible instead of dwelling on when it will last. Your child will never be this old again; later, you will only remember the good things about his childhood.

Embrace all his laughter and cries with your partner and explore this new phase together. Accepting the changes in your life will only help you cope with the situation better. The things that used to work for you might not work now. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can make new plans to manage your daily life.

Take Away

Life is challenging; make it easy with the love and affection of your partner. Instead of dwelling on your struggles individually, ask for emotional and practical assistance from your partner. Remember that when you decide to share life or start a family, you also promise to share your burdens. The common cause of the roommate phase after the baby is that we start to focus on our individual struggles. Your partner needs you the most after the baby. They need your presence and care as much as your child. Be sympathetic towards each other and ask for assistance if needed.